VI - Koniec.

19.03.1988

To koniec.Zawieszam na jakiś czas pamiętnik. Teraz przychodzi czas by zmierzyć się z własną psychiką i powolnymi krokami zacząc sobie wybaczać.Muszę odmienić swoje życie a po drugie je zakończyć.I zacząć nowe.A to oznacza że idę na odwyk.

Całe trzy miesiące w ośrodku ,pośród podobnych ludzi.To czas by zapomnieć o Nikkim.

A propos Nikkiego. Złożył zeznania.Teraz może szybciej znajdą mój samochód i te laski.Ale to mnie nie obchodzi.Mam nowe auto.

 
Tamte było z lat 70 i było trochę zepsute. Pewnie i tak musiałabym je wymienić . Zresztą kojarzyło mi się ze starym życiem. Nawet jeśli się znajdzie.To sprzedam je.Ehh. Za dużo myślę pora to skończyć.Powrócę wraz z nowym narodzeniem.

Żegnajcie. 

"Who knows where the cold wind blows,
I ask my friends, but, nobody knows
Who am I to believe in love,
Oh, love aint no stranger

I looked around an what did I see
Broken hearted people staring at me,
All searching cos they still believe,
Oh, love aint no stranger

I was alone an I needed love
So much I sacrificed all I was dreaming of,
I heard no warning, but, a heart can tell
Id feel the emptiness of love I know so wel


Well, she was an American girl
Raised on promises
She couldn't keep thinkin'
That there was a little more to life somewhere else

After all it was a great big world
With lots of places to run to
And if she had to die tryin'
She had one little promise she was gonna keep

O yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl

Well, it was kind of cold that night
She stood alone on her balcony 
Yeah, she could hear the cars roll by
Out on 441 like waves crashin' on the beach

And for one desperate moment
There he crept back in her memory
God it's so painful when something that's so close
Is still so far out of reach

O yeah, all right
Take it easy, baby
Make it last all night
She was an American girl"

"Now here you go again
You say you want your freedom
Well who am I to keep you down
Its only right that you should
Play the way you feel it
But listen carefully to the sound
Of your loneliness
Like a heartbeat.. drives you mad
In the stillness of remembering what you had
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost"

"Thunder only happens when its raining
Players only love you when theyre playing
Say... women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... youll know

Now here I go again, I see the crystal visions
I keep my visions to myself
Its only me
Who wants to wrap around your dreams and...
Have you any dreams youd like to sell?
Dreams of loneliness...
Like a heartbeat... drives you mad...
In the stillness of remembering what you had...
And what you lost...
And what you had...
And what you lost

Thunder only happens when its raining
Players only love you when theyre playing
Say... women... they will come and they will go
When the rain washes you clean... youll know"

Me and Billy boy and old lady jane
We hitched a ride, took a fast movin' train
Got to the top with our heads spinnin' round
You never know just what you got until you're comin' back
Down on the farmland Mississippi shade
The folks down there they told me take it day by day

And walk the last mile
Before I sleep
It'll be a while
Before I get my peace
With the same style
I walked for years
On the last mile
I can rest my fears"